Friday, June 12, 2015

Not Planting a Garden in this Dirt...

     A lot of time has passed since last November and my last post. I apologize for not getting back with a post about scheduling a school year in a trailer and now our school year is almost at an end. Cat, Sandman, and Adventurer have grown both in stature and maturity and for myself and them this has mostly been a lovely year, definitely so as far as our educational pursuits. I have realized though, that I have a tendency to write when all is well and honestly this leg of our journey has left us wondering if we took a wrong turn and made a serious mistake in coming to Cheyenne.

     Everyone I know who has been to Cheyenne loves it here. They consider it a wonderful place to raise a family and have had only good stories of the people they met here. For us, we have not had that same experience. It is not at all what we were looking for with an hours drive to be in the mountains or fishing a mountain river and for some reason we have just not found a sense of community and fellowship. I promised in my first post to share the good and the bad and the squiggly parts of our adventure and yet when things became less optimistic I quit sharing. For instance, twice in our time here I have had a strange male grab ahold of me in public and make me feel threatened which is something I had never experienced before in any location...

     We have still had family adventures with trips to Sheridan, Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, Laramie, Boulder, and many more lovely places. We simply lost that sense of peace, belonging, and coming home that we had found in Idaho. Mountain Man is still seeking employment there to take our family home and we have made a few trips back to the 7N Ranch to recharge and see the loved ones we left behind. On one of our recent trips back we learned of the passing of one of our loved neighbors. He had worked forty years in the town of Idaho Falls and two months after his retirement he passed away from this life. His guitar playing in the summer nights will be forever missed along with his dear, friendly face. Rest in Peace, Fred Rowe.

     When we first arrived in Cheyenne we had high hopes that a very much loved family we were moving near might be the reason we were coming here. We spent many weekend trips to build those relationships and hoped that that might continue but for reasons that aren't mine to share those visits have come nearly to a complete end and we now know that for whatever reason our family is here in Cheyenne that is clearly not the purpose. I wonder now if this isn't a valley of darkness to bring us closer to our Lord and help us learn to trust in Him even more than ever before.

     Mountain Man has a 'good' job that is giving him valuable experience in his field but it is the first experience he has had working in a State job and honestly it has not been a good fit in this particular office. He misses the camaraderie of his years in both the military and construction. He also misses the great outdoors as all of his previous employment has included large stretches outside and nine hour days in a silent cubicle simply cannot compare to his previous experiences. The lack of fellowship is quite likely the largest surprise, I have never seen an office building so completely lacking in this.

     Cat has enjoyed a year preparing for her Confirmation at a wonderful Parish that we are blessed to have found. She and Sandman thoroughly enjoyed the youth program and it has been fun watching their comedic team in action with the other youth. Adventurer was able to experience her first year in a religious education program outside of our home and her comments and insights after every class have also been quite entertaining. She is openly longing for the day she can participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Eucharist which is lovely to see. There is even an adult education program that I have quite enjoyed led by a wonderful Deacon who spent most of his adult life as a Biologist working at National Parks and his friendship has been extended to every member of the family which we appreciate more than I can express in words.

     Somehow as lovely as the Church family here has been and as contented as the children seem Mountain Man and I simply feel more and more lost and long for what we left behind; the peace, the joy, the sense of belonging. I do not know when and where we will go from here but I do not believe that we have found our home. As our 40's rapidly approach it is easy to feel overwhelmed to be so adrift but I continue to trust that the Lord has a plan for our family and a place where we are needed. I will try to share more often even if the twists and turns continue to be not quite what we expected. In recognition of the extreme desire to move forward from here we are once again not planting a garden in the dirt but relying on a small container garden to carry us through. I hope all of you are well. Be kind to one another.

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